Laughter is the best medicine


i turn vegetables into bacon whats your superpower skim milk is water lying about being milk im at that awkward age where half my friends are getting engaged and having babies and the other half are too drunk to even find their phones i have to carry my axe around with me nowadays otherwise people think im just a hipster

living on earth is expensive but it does include a free trip around the sun do not trust atoms they make up everything

* I did not make any of these.

** Source: Somewhere on the Internet